Self Worth !

Blogginggg after a reallyyy reallyyy long time 🙂

“If I don’t value myself, how can I expect others to recognize my worth?”
There were days I genuinely thought, “Maybe if I die, people will finally understand my importance.” Looking back, that thought now feels strangely absurd. If I didn’t know my own worth, what was I expecting from the world?

I was mentally exhausting myself, trying to prove my value to others — while barely caring about my own well-being. That realization hit hard. It made me question: Why do I judge others, even the ones close to me, for not caring, when I wasn’t doing it for myself either? They may have an other side too.

We women often pour our time and energy into seeking validation from colleagues, family, and friends. And yet, we speak of empowerment and feminism — how ironic is that?

Recently, I attended a leadership training that changed my perspective. Slowly, I began to see things differently. I realized that when people get on my nerves, it’s often because I’ve allowed it. I never set boundaries. I was constantly anxious about what would happen if I said no, or if I didn’t meet expectations.

For example, in any new role, I’d push myself beyond reason — not even realizing I was overdoing it. I just wanted to ensure no one ever found fault in my work. In that process, I was compromising my personal time, my health, and even my relationships.

Now I’m learning to take a step back. Honestly, nothing is worth sacrificing my well-being over. And I’m definitely not Tom Cruise to pull off every stunt on my own like in mission impossible! 😄
So I’m slowing down — learning to focus and prioritize.

Truthfully, I still don’t have complete clarity about what I want in life. Some days, I want to be a full-time homemaker, taking care of the kids and maintaining a home like those model villas from Casagrand! 😄
Other days, I aspire to be a strong leader at work… or a fit mom killing it at strength training… or even an entrepreneur with a small business with friends.

But I always get pulled in every direction. I keep thinking ok, so what business should I start, and then my brain ll give me a knock and say “Hey, first sauté that potato before it burns”. Again, I will start thinking ok so how about starting a tailoring shop in our terrace (not even knowing to stitch) then immediately my mind voice “Halooo madam, tomorrow is son’s Hindi exam — namale hindi second language ah eduthum ‘Pooojaaa karanaaa hai’ level thaaan so better Google something quickly to understand his classwork” 😅

This is just a gentle reminder to myself: I need focused time.
Time to plan, prioritize, and bring clarity into my daily life — and eventually, my long-term goals.

About that training I mentioned — it was led by Dr. Anjana Vinod. She’s incredibly talented and has an inspiring life story. I’ll admit, when I first got nominated, I thought, “already stuck with hell of lot things to do now what is this new drama training raining uff ” But trust me it turned out to be one of the most transformative experiences I’ve had. I won’t say I will change overnight, but I’ll definitely give a try with small steps.

If you ever get the chance, I highly recommend watching her videos on YouTube. She’s truly one of the best trainers I’ve come across.